The Eve of Embarcation

Two suitcases attempt to encapsulate my materialism for the next five months of my life. By encapsulate I must mean appease because I would have arrived at the airport with a fleet of luggage had it not been for my lack of extra limbs to carry them all, and of course that pesky baggage fee. Ninety-six pounds of swimsuits, shoes, my summer clothes that had been neglected and shunned to the cold confinements of my basement where they await the glory days of sunshine,  and those two jackets that I reluctantly shoved in there as they obscured my vision of endless days spent tanning on a beach while kangaroos frolicked in the background. I look around my room and its a war-zone of victims that didn't make the cut, garments tossed mercilessly onto the floor of my room deemed, with much second-guessing and whining, unnecessary for my five month excursion. And I'll admit that then and there is when it hit me-I wouldn't see this room again for five months.

It's not like I had been spending the past month at home, alone while everyone else was back at school, ignorant to the calendar and dates and the expanse of my stay abroad, but rather I chose not to think about it in order to put off the anxiety attack I knew was bound to occur. I can't even go to the dentist by myself, and here I am about to travel to another country on the other side of the world.

 Then and there, sitting cross-legged atop my overstuffed suitcases, I decided it was time to reevaluate my life. What was I doing? Could I handle leaving? What's gonna happen to me once I get there? Who the hell do I think I am?

Often, with such spontaneously pivotal panic-stricken moments in one's life, a quote suffices for support.
"Not all those who wander are lost"

That's exactly what I was doing. Wandering. And quite aimlessly I thought at that. The country was unfamiliar to me, the culture, the way of living. Familiarity, friends and family were all here- a place where I didn't have to wander, I could practically stroll through the routine here with my eyes closed. I was headed to Australia to study abroad without knowing exactly what it entailed. But I had to trust that a new country, campus, and culture held the means to reveal things about myself I could never discover back home.

So sure, I might find myself meandering through Melbourne without a clue where I was going, who I would meet, and what I would learn once I was there, but it is the acceptance of these opportunities that ensure I could never be lost.

A sigh of relief and I lay back, sprawled across my two bags ready for what awaits. A crack and a pop break the silence of my reassurance. That better not have been my new sunglasses.