In Retrospect: I'm an Overdramatic Idiot

A week before I left for Melbourne I should have been anxiously crossing the days off the calendar until my departure. I should have already been packed, or had some idea of what I planned to bring. I should have been researching the city and eagerly making plans to explore my new home. Instead, I was standing on my friend's kitchen table back at school with my fist in the air proclaiming there was no way I was going to leave.

The months before that, I relied on excuses. I'm too poor. I'm too irresponsible. I've never been outside the country before. I can't leave my team. But it seemed like no one else believed them except for me. Consequently, my over-dramatic speech was cut short, and I was dragged off the table and told "Shut up Jenn you're going." Back on solid ground I regained my footing and felt my stomach drop; they were right, it was too late to back out now.

Today, after four months of living and studying in Melbourne I felt the same stomach-wrenching feeling of a looming reality beyond your control; an e-mail from the head of Residence Halls:


Subject: EXPRESS CHECK OUT FOR CLAYTON RESIDENTIAL JUNE 2012 (MONASH ABROAD)

Dear Resident,
You are scheduled to depart Clayton Residential on 30 June 2012. To assist you with an express checkout on your departure day, Monash Residential Services requires information relating to your departure date and forwarding address by 15th May 2012. 

Could I forward them the departure date: never? 
I went from pledging my eternal allegiance to the familiarity and comfort of home to dreading the day I'd be forced to leave Melbourne. In some sort of desperate defense mechanism of denial I deleted the e-mail immediately and pretended it never existed. Then, I found myself beginning to plot ways to prohibit my homecoming to America. Could I burn my passport? Runaway to the Outback and live with the kangaroos? I'm still seriously considering my third option of marrying into the country but I only have about a month left to find a suitor..


Overall I'd done a complete 180 and I am thankful for every event that shifted my opinion each degree. I've learned to surf in a beautiful exclusive beach, I've held a koala (finally!), and lounged in the grass with kangaroos. I've gone bungee jumping and white water rafting and climbed down a forbidden cliff to get to a hidden beach and almost died on the way back up. I've seen Sydney during Mardi Gras, traveled the Great Ocean Road, and made great friends from all different countries. I pet a dingo, spent Easter on the world's most beautiful white sand beaches, I've explored through mines and rode a camel and have seen sights that truly make you appreciate your triviality in the world.

And above all, I've realized I'm an overdramatic idiot. Now, I wouldn't sacrifice a day in Melbourne for anything, and I refuse to believe that I used to beg for a sign, a twist of fate, or a strike of misfortune that would have prevented me from coming here.

Lesson learned. Always trust in discomfort: it's where all new beginnings, and all unexpected great things arise from.