"Studying" Abroad

Allow yourself to delve deep into the memory before college, before adolescence, before your awkward stage in middle school, and even before your youth all the way back to childhood, specifically the first day of elementary school. You proudly wore your backpack (none will ever top my dancing Esmeralda one), showed off your new first day of school outfit, posed for a picture as you ascended the big yellow bus for the first time and shyly waved good-bye to mom as she held back tears at the bus-stop, anxiously awaiting for your return where she could ask "So what did you learn today?" Perhaps it was how to color in the lines. Perhaps it was the value of sharing. I can't say such things about my first day at school of school at Monash. But what I can say I learned is..

1. You don't need an alarm clock to tell you to get up for class in the morning, the screeching swooping magpies outside your window will do that job for you.
2. Coffee comes in a Flat White or Long Black. Try not to be the awkard American that asks what the difference is, or make a short black joke.
3. It's perfectly acceptable to call your professor by their first name, in fact they prefer it and encourage it.
4. "How are you going?" does not mean what mode of transportation did you take to get from point A to B, it means how are you.
5.  It is impossible to go from class to class without being offered a free sausage, burger or beer. Literally there are BBQ's everywhere hosted by every society, its what Australia DOES.
6.  Make sure you checked weather.com by the hour, a cold morning can mean a blazing hot afternoon, and then rain right after
7. People go crazy if you tell them your American, and surprisingly enough most Australians have either already been there on exchange or are planning a trip to do so in the future. If you tell them your from New York nine times out of ten you'll get asked if you have a gun or are in a gang.
8. "Australians are all about the bush," so says my History professor (or should I say Rob?) Interpret that as you will.


So now that your as enlightened as I am, remember the days of high school when you'd come home and mom and dad would ask "what'd you do in school today" to which you'd involuntarily respond with an apathetic "nothing" while avoiding making eye contact so you could easily slip away before they could ask you something else? If asked such a question about my day at Monash I could hardly say "nothing." I probably couldn't even say anything normal. The list includes, but is not limited to:

1. Ate my body weight in free BBQ food. What does the Med society, the Asian club, and the On Campus Travel Agency have in common? Free beer and BBQ for you.
2. Watched the engineering society create a cardboard castle in the middle of campus where they funneled on top, and then proceeded to destroy it by body slamming into it until it was a flat pile of cardboard debris which were then used as weapons to fight each other with.
3. Had the Asian Society grab me and my friend, told us to dress up amongst an assortment of bunny ears, feather boas, neon sunglasses and pirate hats and told us to pose as they snapped away pictures of us and then gave them to us on poloraids.
4. Casually got wrapped in a snake while visiting a reptile tent that was visiting campus.
5. Watched a foam scavenger hunt. Picture a moon bounce without the roof covered in foam as people, mostly Australian guys in their underwear (that's also very normal here), frantically digging through foam to find the most orange balls and win a prize, the event was sponsored by MTV.

Casually in the middle of campus

All to which the regulars at Monash seem completely un-phased about. And if I ask them, which I've had to on several occasions "What the hell is going on?" and small talk proceeds they'll ask me why I'm here. I say I'm on exchange, or studying abroad. "Studying" abroad? Yeah, I have to keep reminding myself that..